


That's Amore

by theleaveswant



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: 1980s, Confusion, Conversations, Crack, Divorce, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, Lies, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage, Moonstruck, Pop Culture, Romantic Comedy, Science Bros, Silly, WHAT HATH SCIENCE (BROS) WROUGHT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-12
Updated: 2012-06-12
Packaged: 2017-11-07 13:33:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/431733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theleaveswant/pseuds/theleaveswant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony attempts to seduce Steve using borrowed material. It doesn't work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Amore

**Author's Note:**

> So I was watching Moonstruck on an airplane (living in the fuuuuture) and the latter half of this story sprang into my head, pretty much exactly as it appears below. I'm only a little bit sorry?

In hindsight, Tony should probably have recognized that this was not his Moment. For one thing, it happened in the lab, which was not in itself a mark against the occasion, but it happened while Bruce was there, in the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of a conversation about divorce. He should have anticipated that this would not go well.

"I just don't get it," Steve said. "Do people not fall in love the same way anymore? I mean, is love different? Because when I was—before it all—marriage was supposed to be forever. Wasn't it?"

"Well, yeah, people fall in love," Tony answered, "but that's not—there's a history to that. There's a social-historical consideration to marriage, as well as an economic consideration. The two things have become . . . I don't want to say 'less connected' now, because if anything I think they're actually more connected. Love and marriage. People are, at least in this society, this time and place and with some problematic handwavy generalization across class and race and whatever demographic criteria, and setting aside for a moment the whole same-sex issue, more free to choose marriage because they're in love rather than because that's just what you have to do, and they're also more free to decide that, hey, you know what, I'm not in love anymore, I don't have to stay with this person forever just because I signed a piece of paper."

"But marriage—"

"Marriage is a contract, okay? And it's a wager. It's saying 'I bet that I'm going to want to keep living with this person, at least until one of us dies', and you know what? Sometimes that horse don't run. You're happy for a while instead of happy ever after. It can be hard, after; you look back and ask what happened, 'were we ever really in love' and all that. And yeah, you probably were, but sometimes that's not enough. Doesn't mean love's not real, or not worth it, just that love can't, love doesn't . . ." Tony looked up at the ceiling, then smiled and looked back at Steve. "Love don't make things nice. It ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect—snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect, not us. Not us. We are here to ruin ourselves, and to break our hearts, and love the wrong people, and—and die. I mean, the story books are bullshit! Now I want you to come upstairs with me, and _get_ in my bed!" 

He closed in on Steve, smouldering attractively, until they were less than an arm's length apart.

Steve just frowned. "Is that from a movie?"

"No, that's not from a movie," Tony said, aghast.

"Yes, it is," Bruce said, and Tony rounded on him with a warning glare that was completely wasted as Bruce's forehead crinkled and he kept on talking. "Tony, that speech is from Moonstruck."

Tony rolled his eyes and stalked around the workbench to whisper in Bruce's ear. "Bruce, Bruce, lovely Bruce, my favorite Bruce. I thought we were Science Bros?"

Bruce pulled back far enough to grant Tony a crooked smile.

"Then you should know that Science Bros don't cockblock. It's in the charter."

Bruce laughed and dropped his voice to match Tony's conspiratorial tone. "As co-signatory of the Science Bro charter, I'd like to motion that that statute be amended to 'Science Bros adhere to strict ethical principles in all interpersonal relationships, such as not lying to the people they're attempting to sleep with'."

Tony sighed. "Point taken."

He looked over the workbench at Steve, who was still frowning, though apparently not at Tony's and Bruce's admittedly suspicious conference. "Is Moonstruck that one with the singer with the honky voice and big hair and the fellow who named his son after Superman?"

And okay, Tony thought as he laughed, maybe this wasn't his Moment, but it wasn't a total write-off, either.


End file.
